He spent the majority of this past weekend sleeping. My mom had to wake him up for his meals, which he eventually ate. He would sort of fall asleep during the meal, sometimes. Today, after he was discharged from the hospital at about 11:30am, he slept until almost 3pm, when we fed him a little soup. He did have old high school and college friends, Doug and Mary, stop by for a really nice visit. They filled in some great stories about my dad's life before I knew him, and it was fun to hear those. Doug was having trouble remembering the names of my dad's two English Springer Spaniels. He remembered one was "Barney" from the Barney Miller show, but he couldn't remember the name of the other dog. I said it was Wilbur, and when my dad woke up we tried to ask him. If you ask me, I think I heard him say "Wilbur" in response . . .
Much of today was spent discussing the possibility of hospice. My mom and I toured the Munson Hospice House yesterday, and it's a beautiful facility. My family and I are trying to decide whether to stay this last week at Birchwood for a final treatment of chemotherapy or whether to move him to hospice this week. I think that my dad improved a little under the chemo last time, but the CT scan from the hospital on Friday said that there hasn't been much of a change in the size of his tumor. The oncologist said that if we didn't want to go with hospice this week, the he would recommend it after this final round of chemo.
It's been tough, and it's hard not to be able to ask my dad what he wants. He's looking a little more uncomfortable now. His nose has been really stuffed up. He has been receiving saline treatments to try to clear the blockage, but he's having trouble making the conscious effort to blow his nose, so that when he speaks he sounds extremely nasally and difficult to understand. He has started breathing through his mouth a little more, which I think is good because it helps him get the oxygen he needs, but it also has the side effect of making him look like a pretty sick man. I wonder so much about what he's thinking when he opens his eyes and looks around, and I really wish that when he spoke, it was loudly enough for me to understand what he's saying. I think that not being able to communicate has been the most difficult thing about all of this.
In the hospital, I mentioned my dad's birthday on the 23rd and how I'd like a party in Traverse City and a party in Grand Haven. My family has decided that because of my dad's condition, we'll just have one party here in Traverse City. I apologize to everyone who lives downstate because I know my dad would love to go to a service at C3 Exchange (he definitely lived and breathed for that organization), but it sounds too risky. From what the doctor said, moving him around too much might cause the blood clot in his leg to dislodge, which would be a pretty quick end for my dad. The doctor at the hospital had also said that passing away on your way to see your friends might not be such a bad way to go, but I think that comment sort of gave my family cold feet.
The doctor did say that for most patients with brain cancer, the cause of death will usually be either a blood clot somewhere or swelling in the brain. Eventually the swelling will expand so that it looks for the only way out of the skull: the opening through which the spinal cord travels. At that point, it's difficult for the heart to get the signal to continue beating. The doctor also said the swelling is probably what is causing my dad to be so sleepy because it's limiting the functionality of his brain; eventually he may slip into a coma. This was all hard news to hear, but I do appreciate the ability to let that information sink in.
So again, you are all invited:
What: Sherm's 67th birthday party
When: Saturday, January 21, Noon-3pm
Where: Birchwood, 2950 LaFranier Rd., Traverse City, MI 49686
We'll have sandwiches or pizza or something and some cake and ice cream. No need for gifts or anything; your presence is wonderful. Let me know if you'd like to attend: 231.750.6906 or elrobins@gmail.com or simply post a comment on the blog here.
Nora, you are so kind to keep posting....thanks for your honesty and sensitivity. I would SO love to come to TC today to celebrate your dad's birthday. We'll be out of town until the 31st, though. He's such a special man, and has inspired many of us with his humor, kindness and intelligence. We wish him a wonderful day, with many who will be able to be there and share the celebration.....♥♥
ReplyDelete