Blood clot

Stupid Friday the 13th...I shouldn't have made that crappy "ominous" joke yesterday. My dad had an appointment with the medical oncologist today. We decided to go through one more round of chemo, starting Monday. Afterwards we'll get another CT scan to assess the situation. My mom, again, brought up the swelling in his left angle. He's actually had this swelling since November, I'd say. I also feel like I brought it up every time I saw a doctor, but no one seemed concerned or ordered an ultrasound today. I feel upset about that, but perhaps it's my fault for not making a bigger deal of it.

At any rate, my dad went back to Birchwood after the oncologist, in time to catch a visitor! John worked with my dad in Cadillac AND in Muskegon. It's pretty cool that he was able to stop by for a visit, despite the snow. At 4:30pm my dad returned to the hospital for the ultrasound, and it was immediately determined that my dad has a sizable clot in his left leg. He has been admitted to the hospital (Munson), where my mom and I are currently helping with dinner. He's getting some blood thinners. I guess it's common to get clots if you have cancer, but the thinning medication can really cause problems with excessive bleeding if he happens to injure himself. I'm not sure how long he'll be here, but of course I'll keep you posted.

Birthday Plans

Thank you all for your patience! I'm thinking that we'll have a small party here in Traverse City on Saturday, January 21st, and then another party in Grand Haven on Sunday, January 22nd. I know my dad would really enjoy a service at C3, so I'll try to get him there for the service and then maybe a little gathering afterward. I'm still ironing out the details, but I know many of you are waiting for news. I'll post details once I have some...perhaps tomorrow or Saturday.

My dad also has an appointment with his oncologist (the cancer doctor) tomorrow, Friday, January 13th. (Ominous, I know.) We'll discuss chemo and whether we'll continue treatment and also the possibility of Hospice. My dad has a follow-up appointment with his radiation oncologist to see how radiation worked, but that appointment isn't until March, which feels like lightyears away.

We've got a little blizzard a-brewin' up here; I hope everyone stays safe and warm!

New Plans for a New Year

I hope you all had a happy and safe new year! Thank you very much to my Aunt Ann and her son Randy for making the drive from Cadillac to visit my dad on New Year's Eve. I wish I could have been there, but I know it meant a lot to my dad. You have been such longtime family friends and supporters!

On New Year's Eve, Chad and I stopped by with a bottle of champagne to celebrate with my dad at around 8:30 or 9pm, but my dad had just finished a bath and was put into bed when we arrived. He fell asleep within minutes of getting into bed so we didn't get to crack open the champagne, but it felt good to be together on New Year's Eve, anyway. On New Year's Day, my Aunt Oi and Uncle Liem came by my house and showed me how to make a delicious Vietnamese dish called "bahn cuon." My mom brought some to my dad for dinner, and he ate it all. Yippee!

In this new year, my family is faced with a couple of decisions. The Medicare coverage of my dad's stay at Birchwood will end on January 19, so we have to decide what to do after that. Hospice is covered under my dad's insurance, so I my dad and I met with an admissions coordinator from Hospice on Friday. For me there has always been such a stigma around Hospice, and I'm worried my dad will also "give up" if he knows Hospice is working with him. He fell asleep during the meeting, almost as soon as the woman from admissions introduced herself. I was wondering if that's the only way my dad can cope with this idea. I don't know. I know that when my grandmother and my great aunt moved to Muskegon to be closer to our family so my dad could help them, they were not at all themselves in an unfamiliar town surrounded by unfamiliar neighbors and no friends. I've often thought about that, and now that experience seems especially poignant. I do know that I can offer more help to my father here, and I know he has so many good friends who are willing to travel to see him, but I'm definitely concerned about taking him away from his environment and his friends. Hospice could come to visit him at a nursing facility or at my home (or his home, if we chose that), but the most important thing to me is that my dad is where he wants to be. I've tried asking him on a couple of occasions, but even if he has been answering my previous questions with a nod or shake of the the head, he doesn't respond when I ask, "Would you like to stay in Traverse City or would you like to return to Muskegon?" I'll try asking again, but if any of you have experiences that you'd like to share or any direction or advice, I'd gladly listen.

With this January will also come my dad's 67th birthday. His joke is that his "birthdate is a poker straight," which means his birthday is exactly 3 weeks from today, on the 23rd. I was thinking it might be nice to have a birthday party, and I would be willing to drive him to Muskegon or Grand Haven for a Saturday or Sunday. I have two questions, then: (1) Is there interest for this? and (2) If so, would anyone like to help me plan/coordinate something?

 All righty, that's all for now. Talk to you soon!

Radiation, Chemo, and Christmas

My dad's last day of radiation was on Monday, December 12th. (Yay!) My mom brought my dad to that appointment, and she said that when patients finish their round of radiation, they get to ring a bell to signify that they're done. She has a photo of my dad ringing the bell, and I'll see if I can get my hands on it. I guess my dad will have an appointment in 3 months to evaluate the effectiveness of the treatment. When my dad left the treatment center, they gave him the screen-ish mold of his head that they used in order to focus the radiation on the tumor. I'm not exactly sure what we're supposed to do with it, but while I was visiting one night, my dad thought it made a pretty good bonnet. I can't say I disagree.

On December 21st my dad had an appointment with a neurologist here in Traverse City. He checked out my dad's "deep brain stimulator" to make sure everything was in order, and I think that appointment went pretty well. The neurologist was super nice, and he was also a Michigan grad. When my mom pointed out that my dad had also graduated from Michigan, the neurologist said, "I know; I saw his ring." haha...my dad never takes that ring off. I remember that when I was a kid, I promised myself that I'd get myself a ring just like it someday. Don't get me wrong --  I chickened out when I discovered that the ring was a little more expensive than I'd bargained for. At least I got a degree, though, right?

Christmas was laid back, for the most part, but my dad got to spend some time with family and friends. One of his former exchange students was able to come up here for a couple of days before Christmas. On Friday, December 23rd, we all piled into the car to pick up my dad for a surprise treat: It's a Wonderful Life was playing at the local State Theater, and I know it's my dad's favorite movie (aside from West Side Story). When we arrived at Birchwood to get my dad, though, we discovered that Birchwood was hosting it's own Christmas party, complete with Santa Claus. All of the residents from my dad's wing gathered in the dining hall and waited for a rather feisty and humorous Santa. When Santa asked a guy at our table, "Have you been good this year?" and the man answered "No," Santa said, "Well, I like your honesty. Have a gift!" Santa came by and commented on the U of M Santa hat my dad was wearing (thanks to Karen and Marsha), and then posed for a photo. My dad was touched, actually, and even got a little teary eyed. (I think he's been a little more emotional lately.) Even with the surprise Christmas party, we made it to the movie on time. The theater was packed, and they had a really good energy. There were people of all ages, and an usher  was passing out bells to ring at the end of the movie, when Clarence gets his wings. Although Chad, my mom, and my dad all dozed off at one point or another during the film, my dad seemed to really enjoy himself. He was rather attentive and laughed at all the right times and all that good stuff. I, myself, always get a particularly big kick out of the part where George Bailey asks Clarence to show him Mary, and Clarence says, "You won't like what you see, George: she's an old maid." (dun dun dun...)


My dad's exchange student left on Christmas Eve, and then my sister, brother, and my uncle and aunt arrived. My aunt said that when they went to visit my dad for the first time, my dad cried. I'm sure he's trying to process a lot, but I do hope he knows how much everyone loves him. My aunt and uncle will be here for two weeks from San Francisco, and they've gone to visit him every day. I'm sure my dad appreciates seeing some new faces every now and again, and a personal bonus for me is that I get to enjoy some of my aunt's exceptional cooking skills!!

On Christmas Day, my former pediatrician, Dr. Chang, her granddaughter, Anna, and Anna's husband, Frank, stopped by from Cadillac for a visit. They came to my house, and while they waited for my boyfriend to retrieve my dad from the nursing home, they had happy visit with my mom, and a lot of excited Mandarin Chinese was spoken. I was happy, since I can actually understand some Mandarin. (My mom's family usually uses Cantonese.) They had brought us some delicious Xinjiang Pears, which were a fun treat. When my dad arrived, though, he was the man of the hour. He drank some tea and Heineken, and listened to everyone talk. He wasn't too talkative, himself, and I know he doesn't like too much of a fuss made, but I know he was glad to see everyone.

We opened gifts after my pediatrician and her family left, and afterwards we had a spectacular Christmas dinner. My dad had nearly spoiled his dinner by eating a bunch of chocolate-dipped Oreos that I'd given him as a gift. Still, he managed to eat some honey ham and continue nursing his Heineken. We all ate probably a little too much, and of course my dad finished it off with a big bowl
of chocolate ice cream. When it was all said and done, I don't think my dad made it back to Birchwood until 9:30 or 10pm, but I think it was a beautiful Christmas with the family. Even Charlie, my dad's cat, really seems to have liked Christmas. He's the type of cat who really likes to hide, though, so I think that more than anything, he has appreciated having a small place of reprieve amongst all the people coming and going. There have been many times when I haven't been able to find Charlie, and then I see a little white and brown tail or a little pink nose poking out from under the branches. (10 points if you can find the cat.)

On a final note, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to everyone who showered my dad with cards and notes for the holiday season. Your thoughtfulness is so moving! It took several shifts to read all the cards to him, and I'm certain that no one else at Birchwood (or in Traverse City or even in Michigan) received so many heartfelt notes and warm wishes over the past couple of weeks. I can't speak for my dad, but for me, your positive energy is ever-present. Despite my strongest inclinations to despair, it's just so darn hard with such wonderful people supporting us! I hope you have a happy and safe New Year!

My dad, mom, and I met with my dad's medical oncologist today. We decided to try to go ahead with chemotherapy starting in January. This was our second time meeting with this oncologist; the first time was in October. My dad slept through both appointments. :/ at any rate, the oncologist said there's a 10-20% chance of chemo helping, but we're willing to give it a shot. I know I don't say this nearly enough, but thank you to all of you for your support. I apologize for not checking in with you to see how you're coping; unfortunately, I've been so hyper-focused on myself. I hope you have good support systems if you're feeling down. I'm so happy that my dad has you in his life.

I just wanted to say a quick thank-you to Linda for stopping by for a visit with my dad tonight. I was just passing through after work, and I barged in on their conversation. Thanks again, and I hope you were able to have a nice chat with my dad despite the disruption! :)

On Cruise Control

Things are going pretty smoothly for now. My dad's been doing two hours of physical therapy every day: one hour in the morning and one in the afternoon. Last week he was getting two hours of therapy in the morning, which left him pretty exhausted by the afternoon. Last Wednesday or so he had a visitor but was so tired from the therapy that, unfortunately, he had to stay in bed. For the most part he's doing well with just some momentary lapses. For example, I played in a jazz band last Saturday and was able to bring my dad to the concert. However, I noticed with a twinge that when he applauded, the applause wasn't as ear-splittingly powerful as it's been my whole life. He always managed to hit his hands together in that sweet spot that gave maximum volume for minimum effort; it's a clap I've been working 29 years to perfect. My dad's applause, though, besides being quiter than I'm used to, went on amusingly long. I'm still glad he got to get out and come to my jazz concert, though. Tomorrow we have our last meeting with the radiation oncologist for a while. I guess after tomorrow, we'll meet with him again in three months to assess the efficacy of the radiation treatment. Three months seems excruciatingly long to me, but I guess this will be a good exercise in patience and living in the moment.